My beliefs about family learning and spirit keeping require that we accept that learning, knowledge, wisdom, all come from everywhere and every experience. That we approach a problem with curiosity and be open and that something guides us or steers us toward answers. Still, sometimes I miss the opportunity, we all do for various reasons and that’s ok. So I want to share with you one of my experiences that felt like a missed opportunity.
I was recently introduced to the work of Judith Blackstone, a licensed clinical psychotherapist and contemporary spiritual teacher. She teaches a meditation practice that is about inhabiting the body and All That Is, at the same time. The newness for me or the primary difference in her teachings is that you do not disappear into the Oneness, you are an equal part in it. Makes sense, but I have a habit of leaving myself out that shows up in various ways. I suppose this is one of those ways. Shortly after that I was introduced to the work of Pat Ogden, a somatic psychotherapist. She speaks toward the physical response to trauma and how you can work from the body upwards toward the brain.
I share all this because, well, they were helpful to me, but also to express that this was my exploration of a problem, we as a family have been facing.
I’ve never found it easy to inhabit my body. Culturally we even reference it as “the body”. With good intentions, the idea is to recognize that we are not the physical. So it is far easier for me to access spiritual guidance than body wisdom and to have someone just say directly, “inhabit both spaces at once…don’t leave the body to feel All that is.” That was huge!
Here’s the most interesting piece.
I was holding all of this as the sun rose this morning and something came together.
Two of my sons spoke body wisdom to me this year, on separate occasions. They spoke toward the same thing in the same way and yet, I missed it. They said it quite directly but no, they didn’t call it that. They were just sharing something, a thought and a new goal and I’m thinking I didn’t have the presence in those moments to get curious about it.
The beginning of the story behind the story was the same, an experience of multiple collective family trauma and grief. But they each came to me separately noticing that their postures had collapsed – they had found themselves literally folding over and frequently sort of squashing things and decided to work on changing that. I didn’t until just this moment recognize how this shifted how they moved through the world or how it moved them further along in their grief process.
Myself on the other hand, I have been quite aware of the urges of my trauma body to collapse – to fold into child’s pose and to remain there. I’ve noticed it has become a symptom of my autoimmune flare ups. The muscles involved are precisely the ones that hold me upright. Still, I couldn’t see clearly till this moment that that is one way I could walk towards the continued healing of my soul. I see now, if I take action in the body, hold powerful postures, or postures of grace, I can feel Grace and Empowerment. Now that’s not entirely new to me but it’s new within the context of my recovery from this. In other words, a smaller more accessible piece than I had contemplated.
Now I can return to them and share my experience and understanding and ask about theirs. Now I am reminded the opportunity remains. I just needed a little “wait time” to acclimate to the information or to further experience it and maybe they did as well. In this conversation we might have the opportunity to explore the nervous system, the physical body’s response to trauma, the grief process, personal empowerment…it will all depend on the space we are in, the places where our experience and contexts converge.
There is so much that I see in this story.
- I am reminded again, to include myself.
- I reminded to be compassionate with myself and have faith in the process.
- I reminded of the interconnectedness of our learning, how important it is to include all of our parts in our goals for “educating” and to recognize these important pieces to embodying knowledge and experience.
- And finally, I am given for myself, a new level of understanding and solution to some of my specific challenges.
In other words, my experience confirms my beliefs in symbiotic learning and how the practices of curiosity, openness and mindfulness create an environment that makes life rich with learning constantly. Learning happens in conversation and experience. We don’t have to create opportunities to learn, they come and they bring gifts for us all.